And so it Ends.

This year has almost expired. It is with some sadness and very little regret that I kiss 2006 goodbye:

Here we are, Two Thousand Six. I'm going to miss you, but I have a good feeling about Two Thousand Seven. Good luck with the whole "going down in history" thing. You've been good to me, so thanks for that...you know, we've been through a lot, you and I. Goodbye, Two Thousand Six.

Well, then it's done.

I don't like resolutions, because they are bull crap. I do, however, have a sole desire for the upcoming year: patience. I need so much more of it. I honestly think that if I develop patience, all of my other problems will melt away. And if they don't, I'll have the ability to deal with them.

Also I am realizing more and more my need for Jesus Christ. He is my Salvation. His name is Wonderful. I need to act like it and treat Him as such.

In 2007, I will complete my Freshman year of college. I will turn 19 and begin my service as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I will say goodbye to so many. In fact, I will give up basically everyone and everything in my life for two whole years. I don't know if I can do this.

2006 was a roller coaster. I am happy to see it go. I look forward to turning over a new leaf.

Not a Fairy Tale by Any Means.

Long ago and far away there was a boy. Who did nothing ever but sit about his house in desperate boredom and growing lethargy.

Well. That boy was neither long ago nor far away, I suppose, for he is I and I am sitting right here, am I not? Well, it's settled then. I have officially wasted another night on a superb amount of nothing.

I am currently listening to The Phantom of the Opera soundtrack. And I must say that "Masquerade" is one of the best songs ever written.

Briefly.

I found this over at Found. I like it more than is probably necessarry. Look at them. They are so quiet.

Christmas went over well. I didn't ask for much and it was nice to just have a quaint simple Christmas this year. I love Christmas.

Perhaps tonight will be a quiet night. I hope so.

And so this is Christmas.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I love this season. There is so much hope to be found this time of year; not that the blessings of Jesus the Christ do not extend to all men at all times, but this is the time of year when we are all reminded of the glorious and humble birth of our Lord and Redeemer Jesus Christ, son of Mary.

I hope you all feel the blessings of the Man who, over two millennia ago, was born in a humble stable in Judea; the Man who taught and preached and healed; the Man who atoned for our sins; the Man who suffered on the cross; the Man who again took up his body in a great resurrection of life. Forget about the presents; they are fleeting. The blessings of one Jesus Christ extend to the Eternities and never diminish.

Have a wonderful holiday, everyone. Again, Merry Christmas.

"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace."

-Isaiah 9: 6-7

Yeee Hawww!

MY FRIEND ALLIE NOE IS COMING TO CELEBRATE THE NEW YEAR! I am excited.

Plans for today: wrapping gifts. Mmmmm. I love wrapping.

As for Life Right Now.

I sort of forgot that Dashboard Confessional was my most favorite band. But they really, really are. I love the music that they make. A lot. I guess that's my plug for the day.

My best buddy came in town last night. Everything is different. Not between him and me...but with all of our old friends. Bailey's friend Drew had a party the other night and all of our friends from high school were there. And it was just odd. Everyone is at so many different places now. Some people I am worried about. Others I am confused about. Mostly, it was just reaffirmed that I AM NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL ANYMORE. That party was more or less the biggest reality check I've had yet on that subject.

But Matt and I had a lot of fun. We were up until like 5:30 this morning. I'm not really sure why, but we were. And that was fun. We just listened to some tunes and that was cool. I didn't realize when he left here that we would be listening to a lot of different music when he got back...I guess that's a given, but either way, it was weird for us to just go back and forth saying, "Have you heard of this band?" and the answer would just be "No." That's weird.

But he is in Canada right now. And the real party starts in January. It's gonna be so crunk.

The Weekend.

I threw up thrice between Midnight and 6:30 this morning. So I mean, tht sucked, you know?

In other news, my sister came in town and we had Christmas. I got The Format's newest CD. That was cool.

I sort of like today. I'm not doing anything because I don't feel so great. And it's nice to be lazy every now and again.

HIIIIIIIYA.

So it is December 16th and 70° outside.

Apparently hell has frozen over.

A Brief Explanatory on the Universe as Theorized by Kirk Thomas Garrett.

I just Q-Tipped my ears. And it's nice because a clean ear is a happy ear, you know?

Anyway, I was just listening to this group Dhira. They are Spanish only like the lead singer is Swedish or something? I don't know. Anyway, they are so good. They even have a sitar! I don't know why that sentence is exclamation point-worthy. I guess I am just really excited.

But anyway, I was listening to Dhira and I was just thinking about how I really, really like music. A lot. I mean, I don't want to be one of those people that's all, "MuSiC iS mY lIfE!!**" or anything, but it feels like music is part of me. I really just feel good when I listen to music.

And I really think that sometimes humans are capable of feeling music. Not the vibrations of it or anything. Like the actual music itself. I think that sometimes when you are in the right place and the right music is playing at the right volume that there are nerves in your body which feel it. It's like when you feel heat. Only music isn't necessarily warm. It just feels like it's in your body because your nerves feel it. I think that these nerves are in your stomach because it seems like whenever I feel music, the feeling starts in my belly and spreads out until it touches my toes and the top of my head.

And I'm no brainologist or anything. And you probably think I'm wrong. But if that's the case, then you are listening to the wrong music. Put down the country or the rap and pick up a descent record that has some actual electric guitars and a real set of drums played by someone who is not named Bubba. I mean, I like rap just us much as the next guy, but I mean your music nerves are not going to respond to lyrics like "Do yo' chain hang low?" or "Lemme see yo' grill."

They, the nerves, only respond to music that feels like it was written by the universe itself--music that glorifies innocence and youth, music that shows love as something that is the most beautiful and dangerous thing in creation, and music that let's you know that getting older is inevitable and that things turn out just fine in the end.

And that brings me to another theory of mine about the universe: the Vortex. The Vortex is a very rare occurrence when you, your body, is the actual center of the universe. Now the beauty of this is that the universe is infinite and by definition has no center. That is what makes the Vortex so awesome in its power and influence.

See, you feel the Vortex when you have that feeling in your body, most especially your chest and stomach, when everything feels right and good. It might be described as feeling infinite. It might also be described as feeling like you are nonexistent. More specifically, the Vortex makes you feel like everything and nothing mutually. Feeling the Vortex is exclusive to no one and you have probably felt it before, but you didn't realize it.

The Vortex likes to show up when you are quiet. When you are with people you love. When you witness the massive beauty of creation. When you are listening to good, soft music. But perhaps not all of these at the same time. For example, when last I felt the Vortex, it was when I was on the side of a mountain in Las Vegas and I saw the hugeness of the city and the wind on my face. Nothing big, but I understood the gravity and beauty of the situation.

However, the Vortex chooses you. You cannot coax the Vortex into coming. I have tried it and the Vortex is so big that it knows when you need it. Also, the Vortex has to watch everyone so it is gone in a flash. You may feel it for ten minutes at most and then it will be gone for months.

You might feel it when you are in love. You might feel it when you are driving very fast on the Interstate at night. You might feel it lying in the grass looking at the sky. But so many people skip over what they feel in the deepest parts of their bodies or simply don't participate in quiet, beautiful activities and miss that they are the Vortex. They feel too much with their heads and not enough with their bodies.

That is the trick with these things. You have to let your self be still enough to listen and then you have to let your body function as it should: in one unit. Your brain, your heart and your gut have to work together. God put them in one container, your skin, and you have to let them be one in order for them to catch on to the little things that are so huge that the universe has.

But don't concentrate so much on the little big things that you miss the average things. Those are just as beautiful as the universal and a lot more common.

Like clean ears. Clean ears really do feel good. Like I've always said. A clean ear is a happy ear.

Srrrriously.

I AM FRICKING DONE WITH EXAMINATIONS. THIS SEMESTER IS OVER.

That's pretty rad, right?
Right.

A Different Sort of Blog.

I think that if I had a choice, I would never really desire to step out in the sun. But the sun is nice, you say. It warms your face, helps you make Vitamin D. That sort of thing.

But stepping out there involves taking a chance. Because once you're out in the sun, there is no longer a controlled environment. Inside, you can check the batteries in your smoke detector, envelope sharp edges in padding, and even control the temperature. The outside world is broadcast through the computer or the television, so there is no need to forgo the precautionary, safety of the indoors.

But.

Think of all the things I would miss out on. There would be no crunching in the leaves at autumn. But then again, there is an awful lot of dust in those leaves; bad for the lungs, you know. There would be no running in the rain. Well, then there is the chance for pneumonia if the wetness is not taken care of shortly thereafter. There would be no first-hand experiences of seeing a canyon or climbing a mountain or running in the middle of the road in the nighttime with nothing but legs and asphalt.

And the smells. Never horse excrement or honeysuckle or a lake or the grass.

And the feelings. No sand in between toes or wind blowing through hair or snowflakes on cheeks.

And the sounds.
And the people.
And the emotions.
And the minutes ticking away for everything and nothing.

But the risks! There are so many risks.


Well take a chance. When gambling in terms of living, really living, the odds are always on your side.

Finals.

Finals have been okay. I feel like I have done well on all of them thus far except for US History, but I made A's on everything else in there.

Tomorrow I have no school.
Thursday I have one test.
Then, finally, the semester will be over.

Final(s)ly.

It's Finals week.
This week will suck. But afterward, it will not suck at all. In fact, it will be quite the opposite.

My best friend does not get back until January 6th. How stupid.

Christmas break will be wonderful.

I must study now.

Check Out this Sweet Music Video.

It's this europop band, Porcupine Blood. They're British.



[I mean, technically that's just Grant and I. But it's still pretty rad, right?]

Two Things I like Right Now (It Seems Like that's All my Blogs are about).

1.) I really, really like getting Christmas cards. That is so fun. Please send me Christmas cards, please. Seriously.

2.) I also really like Natalie Dee. This drawing came from there.

That's all.

Ugh.

So I have to take this defensive driving course because I don't like to go the speed limit.

Only, the thing is, I have to have eight hours of this class done by the twelfth. So I am taking ALL EIGHT HOURS OF THIS CLASS AT ONCE ON SATURDAY. That's so much. I am not okay with that crap.

But I mean, I know it's my fault for breaking the law so many times. And I know I deserve it.

I'll just have to celebrate hardcore afterward to make up for it.

Recapitulation. Finally Finished.

This is how my trip went.

FRIDAY 11/17: We (meaning my brother Reed, his wife Amber, his daughters Carly and Jenna and I) left Reed's house around 4:00. I fell asleep almost immediately and woke up in Oklahoma. I completely slept through Arkansas. We stopped for the night in El Reno, Oklahoma, a little town on the west side of Oklahoma City.

Saturday 11/18: We drove. A lot. I slept. A lot. I called a lot of people just to tell them where I was. We drove through Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona. We did NOT stop at the National Dinosaur Museum in Tucuamcari, New Mexico. We did, however, stop at the McDonald's in Tucuamcari. And believe me, that was a hoot. We had to make two stops because I had to use the bathroom. I found out that I love Oklahoma, hate Texas, love New Mexico, and hate Arizona. We got into Vegas about 10:30 Vegas time. I like driving over Hoover Dam at night. I love being on I-215 and seeing all of the lights of Las Vegas.

Sunday 11/19: We did not go to church, but we decided that after I ironed my Sunday clothes. So I wore my Sunday pants all day anyway. We drove to our old house. The house on Connie Drive that was the first place I've ever lived. It looked different from the last time I saw it. That house is kind of in the ghetto. But just kind of. We ate at a place called Hash House A Go Go. It was a fun experience. Just don't get the scrambled eggs with basil, sun dried tomatoes, and goat cheese. It sucks. We then went to my Aunt Tootsie's to visit and then to my cousin Terri's to dinner. It was a delight.

Monday 11/20 I wrote a paper for government all day. That was stupid. That night we went to Terri's for dinner with a lot of my family. I saw a lot of folks that I haven't seen in a while. I got made fun of, because I am the youngest cousin. But I am capable of dishing it right back out.

Tuesday 11/21 We went to Best Buy so Reed and Amber could buy a camera. The Sufjan Stevens Christmas Album was nowhere to be seen. We then went to get my second cousin Bryant, who is my age, and we went to eat at In-N-Out Burger. I love that place. We got tee shirts then went to the Forum in Caesar's Palace, which is more or less a super fancy mall. Bryant and I went into Louis Vuitton and saw a pair of toddler sneakers that cost $248. I thought that was somewhat overpriced. We then went into Dolce & Gabbana and I tried on a leather jacket that cost $1,095. If I had the money I think I would have bought it. Then we went to Long John Silver's to eat a #5 in remembrance of my dead Grandpa. Apparently that was one of his favorite things. Then we went to the Bellagio to look at the Atrium and the fountains out front. The Bellagio is my favorite casino. Then we went to my Aunt Betty's house for hot chocolate. And the day was over then.

Wednesday 11/22 We went to Tootsie's for lunch, but Reed and Wade (another brother of mine) had to do some stuff for work with their accountant (who happens to be my cousin David) so my sister and sisters-in-law went to the outlet mall. So my brother-in-law J.Paul and I dropped them off and went tot he Venetian because we heard that the mall there was good. Well, friends, it was not. In fact, it was probably the worst mall I've ever been in in my entire life, and I live in Memphis, the Bad Mall Capital of the World. So we went back to Tootsie's for dinner. My cousin Brendan (whom I call Bubby) had gotten in town the night before, so we hung out. We went to Aunt Betty's for soup, and then my cousin David's for desert (it was a progressive sort of thing). At David's there was a ton of family there. I even met some that I've never seen before. That night, Bubby and I picked up a friend of his, got Slurpees and then went up on the side of the mountain behind his house. You can see the whole of everything in Las Vegas up there and it was an AWESOME experience. That night we slept in my Uncle Don and Aunt Kerma's motor coach.

Thursday 11/23: That morning Bubby, Reed, and my brother-in-law J. Paul went to this ratty little hotel on the strip called Tropicana to see the Bodies Exhibition. That was more or less completely rad. We went to my cousin David's for Thanksgiving dinner. We sat around, played with the computer, watched some old episodes of The Office YouTube, and just hung out. It was great fun. That night Bubby, my cousins Eric and Bryant, and I went down town. We watched the fountains at the Bellagio and the Volcano at the Mirage. Then we got a Slurpee and went to Fatburger. It was cool to hang out with cousins who are my age. We didn't get back to Bubby's house until almost 1:30. But we stayed up and talked until 4:00. Looking back, I sort of don't even know what we talked about. But it was fun.

Friday 11/24: I saw Happy Feet with Bubby and his family. Then We went back to his house and chilled for a bit. Then my aunt Kerma took us out to dinner. I met up with Reed and J. Paul and their families (because Bubby, his mom, and Kerma went to see Phantom). We hung out at the MGM and looked at the lion habitat. I eventually met up with Bubby and we went to get his girlfriend. I can appreciate wanting to spend time with your boo when you haven't seen her in a while, so I backed off and was quiet most of the time. We got Slurpees and went up on the mountain again. I sang a song. It was frickin' freezing so we went back to Bubby's and I fell asleep on his couch watching Elf. I woke up around 2:00 delirious and confused. I went upstairs and Bubby was awake and we lingered for a while but eventually fell back asleep.

Saturday 11/25: I left the city of my birth behind once more. It was sad. I hugged Bubby goodbye and said "See you...never?" and it was sad. Hopefully we'll run into each other before we go on our missions. It took forever to cross the Dam on the way out of town. America never looked so sad as when we ventured across her to my real home.

Sunday 11/26: We rolled into town around 9:30. When we got back I realized that there is little here for me. And I longed for something new.

All in all, it was an amazing trip.

I love Las Vegas.
I will spend a lot of time there when I go to BYU.


I love my family.

I look forward to the future.

Potpourri.

I love Christmas.
I love Christmas music.
Listen to some good Christmas music here.

The past few days have been sunny and cold. I love that. It's the winter rain that kill me.

I look at the weather somewhat religiously now that I'm a collegian. I think that that means that I am more of an adult. Because all adults care about is money and the weather.

I don't want to grow up.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year?

I really love Christmas when it DOESN'T interfere with my social life.

Every year I set up the the village and the big Nativity set. And of course the very second I want to go somewhere, mom pulls that out of nowhere and says that I have to do those.

More like Crapmas.
That was probably bad, right?

For Your Information.

I am working on a huge blog about my vacation.
I'll probably be done with it tomorrow.

Okay, bye.

Apparently You Can't Believe This Post. Because this is the Internet.

It is a cool 66 degrees here. I am wearing a light sweater. It is overcast with a 0% chance of precipitation. The weather in the desert doesn't make any sense.

We are going to the Stratosphere today to ride the rides they've got up there. Hopefully I'll throw up.

Tomorrow is going to be the best day for eating of the year thus far. I am overwhelmingly excited. All day I am going to be shoving food down my throat. I can't wait.

I couldn't find the Sufjan Stevens Christmas CD at the Best Buy here. The Best Buy website said that they had it. The Internet is a liar.

Some Things I Love, Briefly.

I love Las Vegas.
I love my family.
I love America.
I love my family.
I love my family.
I love my family.


A lot.

All Work and No Play.

I have been writing a paper all day. Instead of enjoying my vacation. I hate college a lot.

But tonite is going to be so fun. I love my family more than words could ever begin to express.

And then tomorrow one of my best buddies/cousins gets in town.
It is gonna be so crunk.

Viva Las Vegas.

I am in Las Vegas.

The drive was better than crappy but worse than good, you know? I don't necessarily mind having to do it again next weekend.

We didn't stop at the National Dinosaur Museum in New Mexico like I wanted to though. That would have made the road trip AWESOME.

I did use the bathroom in one of the jankest bathrooms in Arizona. I hate Arizona. There is nothing. Except for some cool Dinosaur statues along I-40.

I like I-40.

This is Probably More Than You'd Wanted to Know.

Things that have happened in 2006 in no particular order:

When Bailey turned 18 she had a party at her house. I had no job at the time and didn't get her anything and as a result, just tried to ride on Matt's gift. Dina got mad at me because I said that she broke Bailey's front door. I yelled at Bailey a lot and told Matt to take me home and he just said, "No. Walk." We danced in front of Bailey's house, in her entry way, and in her backyard to Gym Class Heroes, some good rap, and some swing songs. That was some of the most fun I've ever had.

Prom was sort of shitty. Everyone got mad at Bailey and me because we didn't want to pay like a million dollars to ride in the limo and because we wanted sushi and not Firebird's. After prom there was alcohol at Allie's so I went home. Matt followed suit shortly after.

Bailey and I kissed on a park bench for the first time on Cinco de Mayo this year. We're not really sure why or how, but it happened. This can be debated as to whether or not it was a good thing. The next day we talked about it for 5 hours on the phone.

This summer my best friend left for Idaho on June 26. That was a hard day. Not so much because he left, but because I knew that the good part of my summer was officially over. I congratulated him on his leaving and hugged him twice. Then I went to work and listened to Jack's Mannequin, Matisyahu, and Gym Class Heroes on my Mp3 Player all day. I cried that evening when I talked to Dina.

I applied to BYU, BYU-Idaho, and UofM. I got into all three. I got a full ride to the UofM. I brag about this a lot but it is probably the one thing in life that I would really like to change. I want so badly to go to BYU. But I can't right now. Maybe later. I hate Memphis. I love school but I really want to leave this town. I'm afraid of change but I feel like I need it. However, I am happy. Perhaps I'm not completely satisfied, but I am okay with my life situation.

I was really good friends with Kelby this year. He was thinking about becoming Mormon and when he didn't, he decided to sever all ties with me. I've seen him on campus twice and don't know what to say to him and as a result, have not spoken to him since the first week of July. This is both sad and embarrassing.

I went to the lake twice this summer. I got three watercraft tickets. That sucked. I also got one speeding ticket on June 6 on Kirby Whitten, and, as a result, I will get my licence suspended if I get one more.

My best friend came home for a weekend. I have already mentioned that in this blog.

I saw Les Misérables with my (then) girlfriend Bailey on July 14. We got sushi before and Sonic after.

I forgot Dina's birthday and that was the straw that broke the camel's back. We didn't speak for about a month. Things are not the same to this day. I completely take responsibility for this.

I had a New Year's Eve get together at my house. We played Scene It and drank sparkling apple cider. I thought I was going to kiss this girl on that night but I didn't.

I went to a barbecue put on by Shelby Yell with Dina, Matt, Bailey and Grant. There was a lot of arguing in the car before we got there. None of us really wanted to go but we somehow did anyway. Later, at Sonic, we saw Katie. She was barefoot and sad. I don't know why.

I spoke at my high school graduation. Afterward, I hung out with no one from my school. Rather, I played video games at Kelby's. I went to a party after Bolton's graduation. It was pretty crappy, and I left with Matt, Bailey, and Dina. We officially initiated ourselves into DB that night. Except for Bailey, that is. We went to Matt's and ate pank ice pops.

This year was nothing like I had expected it to be.
But I would change very, very little.

Please Save Us, Us College Kids.

I will be happier when this week is over.
And I will be even happier when this month is over.
And I will be even unbelievably happier when this semester is over.

I like that about right now. I'll appreciate the future much more.

Best Friends Does NOT Mean I Pull the Trigger.

I haven't updated in a while because the Internet in this house was not. So I'm out of the running for all the sweet NaBloPoMo prizes. Which is sort of a bummer, but I guess I knew it wasn't really realistic for me to be able to post every day.

My best friend was in town last nite. I slept on his couch. We stayed up late and talked. We laughed and joked and swore only a little. He is my best buddy. It was almost like he was gone for the weekend, instead of the five months he actually was gone. I thought things would be different, but they were not. And boy am I happy.



O, how great the goodness of our God.

It's Like a Blender.

School is crazy right now.
I have a rough outline due tomorrow, an exam on Friday, a quiz next Wednesday, and a 5-7 term paper I have to turn in next Thursday because I'll be out of town when it's due.

Bummer.

This month is going by so fast. I'm kinda happy about that because of vacation that's coming up next Friday. But I can't really breathe right now.

Thankfully, tonight 30 Rock and Top Chef come on. Those are some of my favorites.

My best friend is going to be here tomorrow. Hurrah.

Vote or Die (3).

I voted today for the first time in my life. It was not as exciting as I thought it would be. But it is blog-worthy nonetheless.

If you haven't voted yet, there's still time. Get on it.

If you're not voting, then I hope you enjoy your stay in hell. How dare you ignore the right that so many people died to secure. But then again, I guess they died so you could also be a lazy, apathetic waste of carbon.

If you did vote, then good for you. It feels good, right?

Right.

It's Like the Episode of Oprah That Everyone Wants to Go On. Only No One Gets Prizes.

Today is crappy. The weather sucks. I don't mind the rain or the cold, but I hate them together. It's depressing. So here are some pictures of things that I like. You know, to make me feel better.

1.) The pony from The Science of Sleep.

Isn't he majestic? Look, they're riding him and they are so happy.

2.) Skull and cross bones.

This particular Skull and Cross bones has a fun, sort of whimsical air about it. Cute, right?

3.) Swedish Fish.

I prefer the kind with just the Red, but this is a nice picture. Swedish Fish are delicious and they remind me of some good times and good people.

4.) Grant Edward Whitman.

He's like my little brother. He tells bad stories that I really like to listen to. He doesn't make sense to me sometimes, but it makes sense when he doesn't make sense.

5.) Argyle Socks.

I've worn them since I was little and they've never let me down. I always ask for more argyle socks every Christmas. Come winter, I rarely wear any socks but argyle ones.

6.) Ginkgo Trees in Autumn.

They are super yellow and super bright. It sticks out against the drab that is sometimes autumn and it's nice.

7.) Burt's Bees Beeswax Lip Balm.

It's my favorite chap stick in the history of chap stick. The label says it all: "Soothing, Cooling, Refreshing." And it smells good too. Once my best buddy Matt accidentally bought the Lifeguard's Choice variety of Burt's Bees. It turns your lips white unless you rub it in. Like this:

I look really, really handsome in that photograph.

Man. Today feels a lot better.

Sabbath Blog.

Last December, my friend Derrick Lee Grayson died in a car wreck in Utah. He died a few days after Christmas. He had just gotten married that past October.

In 1991, my Papaw died of cancer which started in his lungs. The cancer came from exposure to asbestos in construction material.

My Mawmaw died of a brain tumor in 1990.

My Pawpaw died the summer before my Freshman year of high school.

As far as life goes, I have had to deal with very little of tragedy. I feel extremely blessed that I have had an average life. We all have to deal with losing a friend or a grandparent eventually. But I have not had to face losing a parent or a sibling. I have had little contact with any emotional trauma.

However, when the day comes that I will face those things, I will be able to handle it. Because there is so much more than just this life that we live. I don't want to get churchy or overly religious here. But I know that there is a God. I know that He loves us. I know that death is not the end.

What a comfort, to know these beautiful things.

My Head Hurts.

It's the weekend and I have no plans.
I hate that crap.




I also hate my World Civilizations teacher.
What an idiot.

Vote or Die (2).

I like the new Chemical Romance single. Please don't tell anyone.

I was going to go vote today, but I decided I didn't feel like it. Maybe that's bad, but it's not like I can't just go vote on Tuesday. And I'm definitely going to vote that day. I wish Matt were here. He'd stand in line with me, I think. Even though he's not a citizen. That's crazy. My best friend isn't even American. Weird.

I get really bugged when people say that they don't vote because they think that their vote doesn't matter. Some girl in my speech class said that today. I almost slit her.

I'm ready for the Semester to be over.

Krishna? Don't You Mean Christian?

So here it is, day one of NaBloPoMo and I realized that for at least four days this month I will be cruising I-40 to and from Las Vegas, Nevada. So I'm making no guarantees that I'm going to actually succeed at the one post for every day, but I'll try. I know everyone will be downtrodden if I don't make it, so I'll try my best.

So due to a long an unfortunate chain of events, I ended up having to take a make up test at my calculus professor's house. She's Indian and Hindu, so I didn't really know what to expect. I sort of guess that I was thinking that there were going to be elephants, monkeys, and an open-air bazaar right there in her living room or something.

As it turns out, her house was just a standard home. Only there were pictures of Hindu deities on the walls, which is fine, but it's just weird to me when people don't have pictures of Jesus up in their houses. It's even a little strange to me when people have crosses in their homes, because Mormons don't use the image of the cross.

I guess I just haven't experienced anything, because even though people are Hindu or Muslim or Jain or Buddhist or Jewish or what have you, I think that I sort of subconsciously thought that they just have these other gods for pretend but they have Jesus in their real religions. I'm not saying that they're wrong or bad, I'm mostly saying that I am very, very sheltered. And I know nothing about anything.

I want to travel.

Treats Today, No Tricks.

You know what? Today really was a better day. I don't know why but it was. And that was nice. I still feel crappy, but not so much. And it rained, but it had pretty much stopped by the time I got to class. So it was not a bad day at all.

I hate it when I take a nap and when I wake up I'm kinda sweaty. That's gross. But my nap was super nice. Napping when you're under the weather is always good.

I bought a big bag of honey lemon cough drops on Saturday. I eat them like candy. People tell me that that's weird. I don't mind because there are weirder people than I am on earth. At least I'm not a murderer. But I'm gad I bought them because I got sick all of the sudden. It's weird how stuff like that happens.

It is Halloween today. I didn't get my hopes up because I knew that if I did, they would come crashing down. But tonight I'm going out to eat with a couple of friends. Nothing big at all. Which should be fun.

Thank goodness for little blessings.

Trying to Look at the Glass Half-Full.

I feel crappy.

I blame it on the weather.

Because the weather sucks lately.

I am sleepy.

Today is not that great.

But that's okay.

Because tomorrow could be better.

Life is Beautiful and Sad.

I live my life sin remordimiento. Without regrets. Everything that has happened matters. And everything is what it is.

But that does not mean that I should not change things about myself.

I want to be a truly kind person. I do not want to be super judgemental. I do not want to curse like a sailor. I want to be honest all the time.

Because life happens too fast for eveyone I become acquainted with to think that I'm a dirtbag.

I hung out with a guy tonight. He and I have met before. We have some mutual friends. At the end of the night, he said "It was good seeing you guys again. Have a good night." Which are just some everyday words that everyone throws around. But the way he said it let me know that he really meant it. He was being completely genuine.

I want to be that way.

I'm a Little Crazy.

I couldn't handle not knowing so I looked it up. The biggest box Crayola makes is a 120-count box.

So I didn't make that up after all.



Sadly, the fact that I looked it up does nothing to prove my sanity.

I Can't Think of a Witty Title for this Blog.

I have a new nephew. He is called Evan Paul and I have decided that I will call him EP because that'd cool. Like an Extended Play Compact Disc. I want him to like rock and roll. I will be proud of him if he does.

He is my seventh nephew and the sixteenth of mis sobrinos so this is really nothing new for me. I have been an uncle for over ten years, since I was a second grader. They're like my siblings more than sobrinos.

I colored a magnificent drawing with crayons last night. It was very fun. I've always wanted the box of 64 crayons, but my mom never bought it for me. I always wanted the sharpener that comes in the back of the 64 box. But I never got it. I think that I will go and buy a 128 box to be really rebellious one of these days. Do they still make the 128 box? Did they ever even make the 128 box? I think I remember that but I sometimes make things up in my brain. But that's kind of ridiculous if they do.

Remember when the color "Macaroni and Cheese" first came out? I do. Elementary School was a lot of fun.

College is much, much better.

I Sound Like I'm 67.

I know that I've already posted today, but this will make up for missing a day earlier this week.

This was on PostSecret a couple months ago.

Although life is beautiful, I really do miss the old days.

Why, Yes, I am Quite the Rhetorician.

My friend Allie asked me to post my speeches on here. So here you go.

Invective

I really hate cats. I don’t see any reason for their existence. All they do is crap in a box (which you keep in your house) or tear your furniture up. You can’t really engage them like you can a dog because of their overwhelming lethargy and apathy. Toss a ball to them and they look at you like you’re an asshole; talk to them and they look at you like you’re an asshole; pick them up and they do that cat scream and then after you put them down they look at you like you’re an asshole. Why would I feed and shelter an animal that thought that it were more superior than I when said creature isn’t even capable of flushing?

I think that the reasons I have these negative feelings for the feline family are purely genetic. Recently, when an unwelcome black cat started lurking about my grandma’s hydrangeas in our yard, she asked the family if we knew how she could cheaply acquire a BB gun. “I don’t want to kill it,” she said, “I just want to hurt it enough so it won’t come back.” When a neighborhood cat started crapping in my sister’s flowerbed, my dad suggested putting a saucer of antifreeze on the front porch. “And then you can sure as hell guarantee you won’t have that problem again,” he said. When I was young, some cousins of mine scooped up the neighbor’s small Siamese and shoved her in the mailbox. When I asked why one replied, “Because cats are stupid. And hopefully she’ll attack the mailman.” Hating cats is just in my genes.

Now I by no means condone feeding car fluid to unsuspecting kittens or attempting to attack your mail carrier by squashing a feline into the mailbox, because that’s just inhumane. Plus with the whole “antifreeze idea” you’d eventually have to dispose of a dead animal; and that’s just something none of us want to deal with. But I think Red Foreman from That 70s Show said it best: “Best-case scenario: you get the smartest cat there is. He still craps in your house.”



Encomium

In trying to pick a topic for this speech I wanted to praise something that has never let me down; something that I love; something that makes me really happy. So obviously, I’ve decided to talk about the Oreo cookie. For as long as I can remember, these dichromatic chunks of heaven have had a place in the pantry and my heart. I have many fond memories in which Oreos almost always play a part.

The Oreo is one of my favorite things because of its flawless time-tested construction. The cookies gently hug the cloud-like cream, juxtaposing one another, creating balance without compromising their value. Because of this duality, one can choose several ways of partaking of America’s favorite cookie.

We’ve all see the commercials where the cookie is twisted in halves, the cream eaten, and then the cookie soaked in milk to make a moist delight. Or perhaps you can be less adventurous and simply dunk the whole cookie in the milk. Or my personal favorite technique is to take a fork and stick it in the cream and then dunk the fork into a glass of milk. This ensures that the entire cookie gets wet but your fingers stay dry. Or if you’re feeling extremely daring, you can enjoy the cookie with peanut butter, which creates drama in the already-exciting treat.

The beauty of the Oreo is that it can be personalized. Just as we all have our own methods and habits in life, the Oreo can be eaten in our own ways. It is versatile enough to bend to us. But when all the chips are down, the Oreo is the same as it was when we were children. So whichever technique you employ to consume this culinary classic, remember that Oreos are the things of which memories are made. And memories are really quite delicious.

They're Really Important Issues, You Guys.

Internet is like Cap'n Crunch in this house: sometimes it's there and sometimes it's not. And lately it's been more not. So that's why there was no post yesterday.

Anyway, for Speech class I have to write these invective and encomium speeches; an invective speech is basically a rant about something or someone that one really doesn't like and an encomium speech is a praise of something or someone that one really likes.

I have been really looking forward to this assignment since the beginning of the semester because if there's one thing I do well, it's ranting about some stupid crap. But I couldn't ever really decide on a topic for either of them. I sort of wanted to find some topics that had some deep-seeded issue behind them. But I couldn't ever decide.

So I talked to Kelly about it. Then I called Bailey. Then I called Dina. Then I called Matt. Then I called Reed. Then I talked to Wade.

So I have finally decided to do my invective (the negative one) on cats and the encomium on Oreos.

Yes, very deeply-seeded, I know. I'll probably be winning the Nobel Peace Prize, so you should all look for that in the news.

At least I could Have Bought a 256 oz. Jar of Pickles.

Tonight was hell.

I realized my tire was ultra flat because there was a HUGE nail in it. So we took it to Sam's to replace it. And for some reason there were only two guys working in the tire place. And one of the guys was new and he couldn't even put tires on. So I was at Sam's for three hours. And my dad came to pick my mom up and the went and got a steak. But I was stuck in the world of metal and concrete.

Thankfully, however, I had an orange Icee.




Damn, that was a good Icee.

Another Dream Blog, but More of a Scientific Angle.

I saw The Science of Sleep last night with Grant (who is my honorary little brother). It was so good. It's a French film (originally called La Science des Rêves) and they spoke French, English, and a little bit of Spanish. My three favorites. But they speak mostly English, so you don't have to read much of it. So that was good.

Anyway, it was fun, the film was. And really, really great. And it just felt good to watch it. I really liked it a whole bunch. It sort of reminded me of my life. I don't know why, but it did. It was just a wonderful film. You should go see it.

As a side note, last night I dreamt that I rented some movies with my cousin Blake...but somehow we went to the hockey arena instead...and I was really late for curfew...like five hours or so. And then I was with my mom back at my elementary school and we went and saw my kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Mitchell. And then suddenly Grace was there and we went to play kick ball with other kids our age on the playground. Then with the kids we were with, it was more like an EFY somehow. And there was this kid there who went to high school with a lot of my friends (I've only met him once or twice, but I see him on campus like everyday) and he was there, only he was having some sexuality issues...like, he wasn't sure if he were gay or not. And there was this other guy who was gay who was talking to that kid about homosexuality in my family's formal living room in my old house (how we got there, I don't know). And I asked them to go sit in the kitchen instead because my mom would freak out because they were so dirty from playing kick ball. And the gay one freaked out at me saying that I was nothing but a jerk from the beginning because I was bragging about taking Chemistry II (which I've never ever heard of). And then I said sorry and that I wasn't mad and then we hugged. And that's when I woke up.

I think my mind doesn't let me remember most of my dreams on purpose, because that crap is weird.

Can You Keep a Secret?.

Today was cold and wet and gross. I hate the weather today. A lot.

I am reading Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. I know, I know...me and the 599,999,999 other people on earth. But Dan Brown is good at what he does. The Da Vinci Code was one of the most exciting novels I've ever read. And I really never wanted to say those words because everyone and their mother have said them also. But I was at my aunt and uncle's house in Missouri and there it was on my bedside table, calling my name. It just made sense that I should read it. And I did and it was good and I regret it only a little.

But every time I see or think the name "Dan Brown" it reminds me of a guy who does the weather on a local network named Dave Brown. Whenever we watch the news at my house, someone will say something about how silly a story is or how ugly a newscaster is, but when Dave Brown is on the screen, he holds our attention (which is most certainly not divided). And you'd better not make any wise cracks either, because that man knows his weather.

Anyway, I went to the step show at school today. It was crunk. The combination of watching the frat boys at the show and reading the Dan Brown novel makes me want to form a secret society. An underground fraternity, if you will. The only catch in my plan is that my society would only just exist...because I can't think of anything good enough to keep secret.

Maybe I could form a brother hood of people who love Dan and Dave Brown.

Now, that'd be something.

Seriously?

One of the graduate assistants gave the lecture in my world history class today. During the lecture, I turned to the girl, who I've known for a while, next to me and said something about the lecture. Our professor turned around and pointed at us and mouthed "I want to see you after class."

We walked up to him and he said, "You guys aren't allowed to sit next to each other any more...I want one of you on one side of the room and the other one on the other side."



So basically I was separated from the person who sat next to me for the first time since sixth grade.

Yeah, Seriously.

Up to Speed.

I found this picture at foundmagazine.com. Isn't it great? Yes. It is.

Today was gross out. Rain and dark and cold-ish and windy. That weather makes me scared. It makes me feel like a cold wet winter is coming on fast. And a cold wet winter is the worst thing I can think of.

I played Neartz with my main guhrls Kelly and Karen last night. And then Kevin came by and he was just as bad at that game as I thought he was going to be. Everyone sucks at that game at the beginning.

I talked with Matt last night for almost two hours. It felt normal. I like normalcy from time to time. It was very much fun time. Sometimes I make sentences that aren't sentences, really.

I had the craziest Friday the 13th of my life. I tried to write a blog about the specifics, but it was just too crazy. Man. What a bunch of craziness.

Do you like the new layout? If not, deal with it. If you do, you might be cool. If you never saw the old one, welcome.

Mom made breakfast for dinner tonight. I like it when she does that.

Vote or Die.

I got my voter registration card in the mail today. So now I can officially try and put an asshole in office. Because that's all that politicians are. Assholes.

The Usual.

Last night I went to Target with Kelly. We do that a lot. When I called her up to see if she wanted to hang out she asked, "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know," I replied, "the usual, I guess."

"Okay, that's fine"

"All right, I'm on my way."

And it was understood that "the usual" meant going to Target and perhaps Barnes and Noble. Most often these excursions end in buying absolutely nothing except for maybe a non-coffee beverage from Starbucks. And probably not a real Starbucks, just the Starbucks in either of these stores. It's a good time.

So we were at Target and there were Halloween costumes for little dogs. One was a giraffe costume. If I had the money, I would have bought that costume, then went and somehow found a Jack Russell Terrier to put in said costume. And then we walked down the rest of the dog accessory aisle (only at Target can that happen and I will walk down it) and I kept saying things like "Look at how cute this is!" or "I want a dog right now!" I really, really did.

And also there was a Foursquare ball with a skull and cross bones on it. And a trashcan with a ghost. And I wanted those things also. I really wish I could just buy anything that I liked, regardless of what it was. But I would not have any room for living. And there would be far too many articles of clothing around my house.

I like Halloween a lot. Anything that promotes candy is acceptable, I think. I always get excited about Halloween and then it actually gets here and it's the disappointment of a lifetime. Because I just keep saying to myself, "Now what?" Because there is nothing worthwhile about it. Maybe if I were Pagan it would be better. But as a Christian, I just get bored.

At Target, we ran into Megan Vansickle and Erin Horton and Mickey (I don't know his last name). But I like all of those people. And we went to Starbucks (a real one this time) and Carolyn met us up there. And later, Nubs and Shleby and BJ came. It was a fun time. We played BS and chatted. And I laughed a lot.

Tonight a lot of us are going to play in a graveyard because it's Friday the 13th. Maybe we'll get murdered or something. That'd be noteworthy.

So if this blog stops updating, call the authorities and tell them to look for our bodies.

Maybe You Will Hate Me for This

I don't intend for the general public to understand what I am trying to convey with this post. If you have not had an experience like mine, I'm afraid you will never understand.

For the past four summers of my life, I went to a church camp called EFY. EFY is for kids 14-18 years old. As I will be 19 next summer, this past EFY was my last one.

On the last night of the last EFY, all of the counselors sang us the theme song of the year. Then we sang something called the "EFY Medley." Traditionally, everyone puts their arms around each other when you sing the Medley on Friday. So my group was doing that. And I was looking at all these kids who I had only known for a week and I was crying my eyeballs out. I wanted to sing but could not, such were my tears. I love those kids. I miss them.

I was very full of a lot of feelings that night. I was so happy but I could not stop crying. I hugged so many people. I ran from person to person, hugging them and telling them that I love them. I ran into a girl named Sydney and I hugged her and we were both crying and I looked her in he eye and I was holding her shoulders and I said, "Sydney, your Heavenly Father loves you. You are His daughter. He loves you. Don't ever forget that." And I hugged her again. And I told her that I loved her.

Then I ran into this girl Allie. She gave me a pin with whales on it and I knew that that meant something, even if you don't. And we cried and hugged. And I said that I loved her.

And I saw a counselor Algot. Earlier that night in joking with him, I inadvertently hurt his feelings. So I went up to him with tears running down my face and I hugged him so tight. And he grabbed the sides of my head, and I grabbed the sides of his head, and our foreheads were pressed against each other. And I was crying even harder. And he said, "Don't worry about it, buddy. It's all okay." And in that moment we were brothers. And I told him that I loved him.

In the closing prayer that night, the guy giving the prayer asked our Heavenly Father to bless the Youth. Glory be to the God who loves us. Because He honestly does love us.

That night I understood Jesus Christ more than I have any other night of my life. I can honestly say that I love all 300 or so people that were in that room. I cannot name them. Nor do I remember many of their names. In fact, if I saw some of them on the street, I probably couldn't point them out. But I know that I love them.

Maybe you find all of this shallow and irrational.
But it's so true.




I just finished The Notebook for the first time tonight. I watched it with my Dad. When it was over he said, "Now that's about as tender a love story as there ever was, don't you think?"

I said yes, that it was.

It's Better Than Being a Drug Addict.

I haven't showered today. Although I should because I smell kinda rough. Not bad or anything, just kinda stale, you know? Gross.

Bailey is coming home this weekend from Knoxville. I think that town would be much more hardcore if they spelled it Nocksville. That'd be cooler, I think. Anyway, we're hanging out that that should be cool. It's been a while.

This weekend, October will be half-over. That is crazy. Life is running. And I haven't ran in a long time and so I'm having trouble keeping up. And it's weird because I have a l0t of free time. So it seems that life would be going more slowly. But hélas, it is not. I just wish I had more friends than I do. I'm ready to start hanging out with more new college-type folks.

I want a best friend who does not live in Idaho. But this is how things are. And I am very accepting of them.

Twice.

I just hung out with my cousin for the first time since May of 2004.

And it was awkward and fun and worth it.





Saying sorry is the best thing that ever happened to mankind.

Just a Little Bit.

I do not think that my speech was very great. And I thought my last speech in that class was good but I still got a B- on it. So I'm a little worried.

College is for real a huge bummer sometimes.

So last Tuesday at Institute I met this guy who is a brother of a friend of mine. I happened to be wearing a Mae shirt that day and he came up to me and said, "That's a good band."
"Yeah," I replied, "And they're way good live."
"That's cool. So, do you like Rock and Roll?" he asked.
"Yes. I do like Rock and Roll."
"That's good. I like Rock and Roll also."

He's basically the coolest kid ever. Who says Rock and Roll anymore?

That's good stuff.

Today Should be the Best Day of Your Life.

Today was a glorious day.I set my alarm for 6 this morning. I figured that that was a waste of effort, so I snoozed for an hour-and-a-half. See, I called this girl that I went to EFY with, Rebecca, and she didn't call me back till like one this morning. And we chatted for about an hour. So I was pretty beat. But I woke up and studied for this exam I had this morning, showered, studied, went to school, checked my Facebook because the Internet in this house sucks for some reason right now.

I aced that exam, I think. The essay was somewhat weak in a couple of parts, but all in all, I think I did pretty well.And then I didn't go to my next class because I am tired.

I did, however, go to the public library to get some books for this speech that I'm giving [tomorrow...I should do that] and that was a wonderful experience, as usual. Out in front of the library there are these carved megaliths with writing and images on them. And there are carvings in the walkway too. There is a photo below here, but I'm afraid it's not that great (it was the best I could find...and don't ask what those big black areas are, because I don't know); but you can see it's just a giant, carved stone cylinder and the ground below is carved as well.

Anyway, all of the writing out there is that inspirational-human-spirit-crap that always makes me cry. So as I was walking out, there was a woman reading something on the ground. Where hundreds of people a day just trample right over, she was stopped. And reading. And learning. I was walking briskly to my car and I realized that I was in no hurry. And I stopped and I looked. I didn't read any of the stuff that was written, but I just looked. And I felt like I counted, like I was a part. It was pretty rad.

Then on my way home it occurred to me that I should make things right with my cousin Blake. See, the thing is that he and I have been mad at each other for like two-and-a-half years now. I don't want to go into it, because it's really not that important, but just know that we haven't said more than thirty or so words to each other since my Sophomore year in high school. Stupid, I know. But I thought I should call him and make things right. So I called his house. And he wasn't there, so I talked to his sister and she took a message for me. And so I figured that it would just blow away.

But he called me back. And I said that I was sorry about a million times. And he apologized too. And I cried because I cry a lot. And I told him how important he was to me. And how important being family was to me. And he and I are better now. And he and I are going to hang out sometime this week. And that makes me feel so unbelievably happy. I cannot describe the relief that gives me.

My status on Facebook is "satisfied." And I really, truly am.

A Variation.

So I know that this blog is supposed to be updated daily, but my computer was apparently on the verge of explosion yesterday so there was no update. But I mean, I'm pretty sure that no one even reads this damn blog anyway, so I guess that it sort of doesn't matter.

I am no longer flying to Las Vegas for Thanksgiving; rather, I am driving with my family. Bah! That's what I say to that Idea. However, I am mildly excited, because my Dad informed me that I will have to do some of the driving. Which means that I will have full and undisputed sovereignty over the stereo. Which means that New Mexico and Arizona will experience the miracle of song that is Sufjan Stevens. Mmmm. I cannot wait for that.

It feels like fall today, which is more or less completely rad. I love fall so much. It's sunny but cool. I like the sun and I hate being hot. I think I've mentioned that before.

Man I feel like a real moron. See, I'm in one of these computer labs at school (because I'm poor and don't have a laptop) and this girl just called so I answered, had my conversation (which was very brief), and then hung up. But right after I hung up, this other girl got a phone call and left the room to answer it. How rude does that make me look? Super rude, that's how. But, I mean, now she and the girl next to her are talking, so I don't really see why it matters. But maybe it does. Whatever, this was a waste of a paragraph.
Anyway, I really like fall. It smells nice outside. And it feels nice. And there's always a breeze. I do not like winter, though. Too cold. Way too dark. Way too wet. I sort of hate winter.

I have to go to a review session for an examination I'm taking on Monday. I have not studied at all for said examination. I'm not too worried, but that just means that my Sabbath will not be a Day of Rest.

I'm kind of bad at religion.

Things I like Sometimes.

You know what I like? The photographs below there. I like them a lot. In case you're wondering, those are from my favorite film, The Royal Tennenbaums. It's a wonderful film. You should watch it. Unless you are Mormon, and if that is the case, you shouldn't judge me for having watched it myself.

You know what else I like? Using words like photograph instead of picture, film instead of movie, and record instead of album. Those words are just more real- sounding to me. They seemed aged. And I like old things.

There are these benches at school that say "CLASS OF 1937" on them. That's crazy old. Like, 69-years worth of oldness. Think of the thousands of students have sat on just one of those benches. And the millions of words that have been read on them. And the trillions of thoughts in the heads of the thousand students while reading the million words. Education is a beautiful, aged, vibrant concept. I love to learn. I will be be paying to learn for a very long time.

I also like it when old friends call at random. Even when the conversation that you have is short-lived and somewhat pointless. But such is often the way with things like that.

I also like thinking about the glory that will be "Kirk Owning a Tent." I look forward to this every day. I literally think about having a tent every single day. And I probably will until I'm dead or something. Well, at least until I find something more appropriate to be excited about.

I also like musick. I almost always spell it with a "k" at the end, in casual settings, at least. Blogging, by it's nature is almost always casual, so I think it's appropriate here to use the "k." I like listening to new musick that I have just recently happened upon and I like listening to old musick that has been in my repertoire since my early youth. As a rule, I don't believe in genres. Categorizing anything almost always ends up insulting the categorized. However, anything that could be called "Country" can be destroyed. Maybe this is hypocrisy, but not to me. I think it's important to remember that Bluegrass is not Country and as such, it deserves your respect.

I like dinosaurs, like every other boy on earth, except for maybe the boys that were into Barbies when they were little. But I don't categorize. My favorite dinosaur is the stegosaurus. They are gentle, but look pretty badass, just like I am. I also like dogs. But my liking dogs is only a sometimes thing. I want a Jack Russel Terrier named Rocket.

I like Peanut M&M's. I like Swedish Fish. I like steak. I like fruit. I like all fruit and I am not even joking. Like, seriously, name any fruit. I mean any fruit and I will like it. Seriously. Oh, tomatoes and cucumbers are vegetables, dammit.

I like Bailey and I like Dina. I like Kelly and I like Karen. I like Steve-o and I like Levi. I like Reed and I like Matt.

I like St. Louis and Las Vegas. I like Kentucky and Arkansas. I like forests and mountains.

I don't really like being hot but I like the sun. I don't like bug bites but I like to camp. I don't like being annoyed but I like my family.

Sometimes the things I like don't always fit right, I guess.

But I still like them.

I Don't Know About This One.

Yesterday I went to the public library and checked out my favorite book, A Separate Peace by John Knowles. Now, I know, if this is my favorite book why don't I own it? Simple, because I am poor and books are expensive as hell. Going to the main branch of the library makes me feel like royalty. It's just so big. And there are so many books in that place. And isn't it weird to anyone else that humans build buildings for the exclusive purpose of housing books? Kelly and I do, anyway.

Anyway, I am reading this book again, and every time I do it depresses the hell out of me for a little while. And I am filled with a sincere desire to rectify everything that is wrong with my life. And then because I realize how I can make things better with myself, I don't feel so depressed. It's a wonderful book.

That book is my sophomore year of high school in a novel. It is about me and my best friend. Granted, I never tried to make Matt fall out of a tree or anything, but I did have some skewed views on how my relationship with him (and pretty much everyone else) worked. It's pretty much changed my life more than any other non-religious text has. A quote: "Nothing endures, not a tree, not love, not even a death by violence."

Never be selfish. Never think that you are better or smarter or more important than anyone else. Never, ever think that someone who is your best friend is only close to you so he can destroy who you are and glorify himself. Because you are always wrong if you're that way. Always.

You should read A Separate Peace. It's a marvelous work.

College Life? College Vegetation.

I slept for a long time today. For real, like a really long time. It's actually somewhat ridiculous. But it felt nice. I never sleep.

I have a test in Oral Comm. tomorrow. But I mean, seriously. What's the point of having a test in that class? You're either a good public speaker or you're not. Who the hell cares if you understand the "concepts" behind public speaking? Whatever.

I have Government tomorrow too. For loving this country and its government so much, I sure do hate that class. And I'm a Political Science Major for crying out loud. That's how awful that class is. Completely awful. The teacher (if you can call him that) tries to have these "class discussions" only nobody gives two craps about it, so we sit there in silence half of the time waiting for the same 5 people to say something. It's a huge, huge bummer. But I'm going to try and stick it through. I don't like to quit, normally.

In other news, I am going to Las Vegas for Thanksgiving. I may fly out there. I've never been on a plane before, so it'll be fun to see how that pans out.



I finally showered last night. But I definitely haven't showered today. I'll get around to it eventually, I think.

Well. I make no guarantees.

dream on.

I haven't showered today. And honestly, I don't think I'll ever get around to it. It's just kind of a hassle, you know?
Eh. Not really. I'm just lazy.

Normally I don't remember my dreams. So it's weird to me that I've remembered almost every dream I've had this week.

In one of my dreams, Mom and Dad announced to my family that they were going to have another baby, a boy. Now maybe this doesn't seem like a huge deal to you. But it sort of is...see, my mom is 60. and I'm the youngest in my family and I'm 18. You can imagine the feelings of sorrow I had for this future younger brother of mine. So, being the emotional wreck that I am, I started crying. When asked why I was crying, I said that I really felt sorry for the little guy because "Mom and Dad are just so old." And all of my siblings told me that the real reason I was crying is because I wouldn't be the youngest and the favorite any more. Which is a fairly standard sort of response.

And when I told my brothers Reed and Wade about the dream, after I told them the part about my crying, Wade said, "Yeah right...you were crying because you weren't going to be the youngest anymore." So I told him that that's exactly what he said in my dream and that even in my subconscious he's an asshole.

In another dream I had, I went to visit my best buddy Matt in Idaho (that's where he goes to school). and in my dream he was dating our friend Rachael (who is engaged now, by the way). Anyway, when I saw Rachael I hugged her really tight like I normally would and kissed her on the cheek. Matt went absolutely ballistic and started screaming about how our friendship was now "so over." And then I explained myself and apologized, and we went into Matt's house...he slept in a bed in the garage for some reason and this kid Josh (whom we went to church with) was one of his roommates. Only by the time we got to Josh's room, Matt also had a bed in there, pushed right up next to Josh's...like they snuggle up every night or something.

It was pretty f-ed up.

Okay.
I'm done.

today.

today has felt like real life. for the first time in a while.



God is an amazing person. I know that sentence sort of didn't make since...because God "isn't a person." But He loves us too much to be called anything less personal.


i am so happy.

mmmmm. bloggy.

new blog. yesss.

i am excited for this. this is a brand new adventure.


i am a bummer incarnate. i have done nothing all night but go rent (by myself) Bottle Rocket and The Usual Suspects. then i went and bought the newest Sufjan Stevens record, The Avalanche.

i swear, when my parents go out of town, it's as if the part of my brain that craves social interaction shuts down. all i do is lay around. it's depressing.



in other news, i've been running a lot lately. which is kinda cool. i'm still pretty bad at it, but i'm getting better. i went running last night around 12:30. it was cool...no one was awake. and i could see my breath. and it was just me and my legs. i like that feeling. i've never had it before.

ummm. okay. i'm done.