A Brief Explanatory on the Universe as Theorized by Kirk Thomas Garrett.

I just Q-Tipped my ears. And it's nice because a clean ear is a happy ear, you know?

Anyway, I was just listening to this group Dhira. They are Spanish only like the lead singer is Swedish or something? I don't know. Anyway, they are so good. They even have a sitar! I don't know why that sentence is exclamation point-worthy. I guess I am just really excited.

But anyway, I was listening to Dhira and I was just thinking about how I really, really like music. A lot. I mean, I don't want to be one of those people that's all, "MuSiC iS mY lIfE!!**" or anything, but it feels like music is part of me. I really just feel good when I listen to music.

And I really think that sometimes humans are capable of feeling music. Not the vibrations of it or anything. Like the actual music itself. I think that sometimes when you are in the right place and the right music is playing at the right volume that there are nerves in your body which feel it. It's like when you feel heat. Only music isn't necessarily warm. It just feels like it's in your body because your nerves feel it. I think that these nerves are in your stomach because it seems like whenever I feel music, the feeling starts in my belly and spreads out until it touches my toes and the top of my head.

And I'm no brainologist or anything. And you probably think I'm wrong. But if that's the case, then you are listening to the wrong music. Put down the country or the rap and pick up a descent record that has some actual electric guitars and a real set of drums played by someone who is not named Bubba. I mean, I like rap just us much as the next guy, but I mean your music nerves are not going to respond to lyrics like "Do yo' chain hang low?" or "Lemme see yo' grill."

They, the nerves, only respond to music that feels like it was written by the universe itself--music that glorifies innocence and youth, music that shows love as something that is the most beautiful and dangerous thing in creation, and music that let's you know that getting older is inevitable and that things turn out just fine in the end.

And that brings me to another theory of mine about the universe: the Vortex. The Vortex is a very rare occurrence when you, your body, is the actual center of the universe. Now the beauty of this is that the universe is infinite and by definition has no center. That is what makes the Vortex so awesome in its power and influence.

See, you feel the Vortex when you have that feeling in your body, most especially your chest and stomach, when everything feels right and good. It might be described as feeling infinite. It might also be described as feeling like you are nonexistent. More specifically, the Vortex makes you feel like everything and nothing mutually. Feeling the Vortex is exclusive to no one and you have probably felt it before, but you didn't realize it.

The Vortex likes to show up when you are quiet. When you are with people you love. When you witness the massive beauty of creation. When you are listening to good, soft music. But perhaps not all of these at the same time. For example, when last I felt the Vortex, it was when I was on the side of a mountain in Las Vegas and I saw the hugeness of the city and the wind on my face. Nothing big, but I understood the gravity and beauty of the situation.

However, the Vortex chooses you. You cannot coax the Vortex into coming. I have tried it and the Vortex is so big that it knows when you need it. Also, the Vortex has to watch everyone so it is gone in a flash. You may feel it for ten minutes at most and then it will be gone for months.

You might feel it when you are in love. You might feel it when you are driving very fast on the Interstate at night. You might feel it lying in the grass looking at the sky. But so many people skip over what they feel in the deepest parts of their bodies or simply don't participate in quiet, beautiful activities and miss that they are the Vortex. They feel too much with their heads and not enough with their bodies.

That is the trick with these things. You have to let your self be still enough to listen and then you have to let your body function as it should: in one unit. Your brain, your heart and your gut have to work together. God put them in one container, your skin, and you have to let them be one in order for them to catch on to the little things that are so huge that the universe has.

But don't concentrate so much on the little big things that you miss the average things. Those are just as beautiful as the universal and a lot more common.

Like clean ears. Clean ears really do feel good. Like I've always said. A clean ear is a happy ear.