A Pretty Standard Post.

Is it even vaguely ironic to anyone that going to school has increased my apathy and lethargy? You know, I really wish that they would teach you something in college. Sure, they throw out thousands of dates, hundreds of facts, and a million pages of information, but I don't really feel like they're teaching me anything. I feel like college hasn't dramatically changed who I am, like I thought it was supposed to do. Maybe I'm at the wrong college. That could very seriously be the problem.

Anyway, I am under increasing pressure from my parents to get a job. I don't know why. Last semester I didn't have a job and everything was right as rain. But this semester is different for some reason. And I'm going to have to work for the rest of my life, so why should I work now? Whatever.

I wish I had time to read good books. But I am stuck reading text books. Bah.

Seriously? (2).

So you know how I don't like my chemistry professor? Well I didn't go to class today (because I hate him that much) and I got this email:

Either you missed class or you were more than 10 minutes late to class today.

Please do not expect to earn an acceptable grade by skipping class.


Will someone please explain to me the purpose of this completely purposeless message? Obviously, there was some sort of role taken today, but there never was before. But I don't need a notice telling me that I wasn't there, because I'm pretty sure I'm completely aware that I wasn't there. Also, this is the email in its entirety. The asshole doesn't even sign his name at the bottom. Probably because he feels like common courtesy is for those who are less intelligent than he.

Boy. I need to relax.

R & R.

I really think that life would be better if everyone would just relax. Just be, you know? Do what's right and don't sweat the small stuff. Relax, you know?

Like, I hate it when professors feel like they have to stop their lecture to ridicule someone who is walking in late or someone who is not looking at them. Isn't their stopping the fricking lecture more distracting than just one person looking at their fingernails? Yes, it is. I'm amazed how people with so much education can be so stupid.

Man, I do a lot of complaining about school, eh? But that's what I'm supposed to do, right?

Maybe I should just relax.

Bad Chemistry.

Oh boy, I hate my chemistry professor. I don't really understand why some professors think that they don't have to "teach," but he feels that way. I can't imagine being paid to teach but then not teaching at all. It seems dishonest to me. Today he said that he wouldn't teach us how to do this problem step by step because that problem wasn't going to be on the test and we'd only know how to do that problem. I'm not really sure how that could ever make sense, but I guess that's why I'm the student. Basically I just want to push him down the stairs.

In other news, nothing is new. My weekend was fun. That is all.

School Days.

There is one overwhelmingly gargantuan negative to going to school at the University of Memphis: half of my graduating class is there. Some of you may be thinking, "Well it can't be that bad," and to an extent you are right. I didn't talk to those people in high school, and I don't talk to them now. However, just seeing them makes me think of how much I hated high school. I really enjoyed being high school age. Being a teenager is high times, let me tell you about it. However, I really begrudge the fact that I was forced to socialize with a couple thousand people that I really just didn't like. Call me a jerk, but I'm just trying to be honest.

Granted, I did have a lot of friends at my high school and my graduating class. However, a huge majority of my schoolmates were enormous morons that I could care less about.

Other than all of that, my semester is going well. I have high hopes for all of my classes except chemistry, but I plan on studying hard. But basically, I am ready for the summer.

Man, I love Burt's Bees.

A Few Things.

The past few days have been very uneventful. Yesterday, I saw A Night at the Museum. It was pretty good. I laughed a lot. And my friend Porsche from high school was there. Then, today was supposed to be the first day of classes, but my one class on Tuesdays got cancelled. See? Uneventful.

Tomorrow I have three classes and the semester will pretty much start for me. I am excited. Only, I know I would be more excited if Matt were not here. He is going to be a huge distraction, I know. But I will work through it all, I suppose.

It is freezing here. All of the sudden it decided to be cold after a few weeks of 60° weather. I don't understand it. I really am obsessed with the weather. I don't know why.

"To the Well Organized Mind, Death is but the Next Great Adventure."

My first phone call of the day came at 2:06 PM. It was Matthew. He informed me that he was coming over and we were to go get lunch. Also, a kid with whom we go to church died in a car wreck this morning. Apparently he was on 385, hydroplaned, and went into oncoming traffic. I don't know all the details, but I have pretty much gathered that he died right on the spot. He was only 17 years old. How young.

Although I only vaguely knew him, this has had a sort of profound impact on me. Many of my friends were very close to him. I sympathize with so much with so many people right now.

I think of all of the things in life that I am to do. Go to school. Get some degrees. Have a career. Get married. Make babies. I have anticipated doing those things my entire life. I think of the plans I have (and I have many plans) and the things that I am wanting to be doing years from now. I think of how it would be if I could not do the things that I have been planning on doing for so long now. I think of what impact would be lost if none of my plans ever get executed. I think that it is not for me to decide.

I think that God understands everything. I think that trials, even the hardest ones, like death, are lovingly given to us by our Father in Heaven. I think He loves us more than we will be able to comprehend in this life. I think it is not ours to understand death, rather it is ours to deal with it.

In the Bible when Christ was on His way to heal the man Lazarus, he met Lazarus's sister. She wept, saying that Lazarus had died and had Christ been there earlier, she knows that He could have saved him. Although Christ later raises Lazarus from the dead, and He knew this, He weeps with her. He felt her pain along with her. That is what our God does. He sees the end from the beginning. He understands how everything will work out. And while it is hard for us, He will weep with us. He will feel our pain and will comfort us.

In a more non-religious sense, I have a deeper respect for the fragility of life. Our bodies can only take so much before they give out on us. We must be ready to take the plunge, even when we don't anticipate our diving in. Be ready for it. Love and live to the fullest.

My condolences go out to Corbin Chrisitensen's family. God bless you. I hope this time is made easier.

All's Well.

Been a few days since I last posted. I haven't been "busy," but I have been doing a lot of hanging out. Matt got in town on Monday, so I have been spending a huge amount of my life with him. During the day I don't really see much of him, but at night we're generally side by side. Which is weird because that's normal, and normalcy is a hard commodity to get a hold of lately.

Matt's and my relationship is basically the weirdest ever, I think. He and I are so different and it's crazy that we can be friends. Mostly when we are around others, we are loud and irreverent. But when it's the two of us, we are quiet and philosophical. We are really good at life, I think.

Basically, this week has been so much fun. I don't necessarily remember any specific highlights...it's just that I've been pretty content with everything. Which is cool. I got a new hoodie the other day and it's sort of amazing how new clothes make me feel good. I'm wearing it now and I love it a lot.

I missed my favorite television programs last night, so I am going to indulge myself. Good day.

Karate.

Music makes my insides feel like there are no gaps, as my insides are often wont to do these days.

Today was fun.
Blue Coast Burrito is delicious. Dina is high-larious. Matthew is back.

Tonight could have been better. But it wasn't.

Theme and Variation.

I am in over my head. That Fray song came on in the car on the radio as I pulled into the drive just now. I was sort of blown away at how overwhelmed I feel at this point. I thought I was adjusting somewhat well into "adulthood," what with college and everything, but I just feel like life is too much. I am supposed to get a job and study hard and be responsible.

But I just want to be me. And I do not like working and I hate studying. I will have to work for the rest of my life and I want to have this time to be me. But this is not realistic nor is it appropriate.

But then I listened to "Indestructible" by Matisyahu. In it it says, "Fear nobody but his Majesty." I have no need to fear or to worry. All I need to know is that my God is on my side and that I can get through this. I can be me and grow up all at the same time. Now this is what I have. Years from now, what I have will be work and a family.

But forever I will be Indestructible.

The Christmas Spirit is Definitely Dead.

The past few days we have been de-decorating our house. And I want to just throw all of the decorations in a pile and set fire to them. I have never walked up and down the stairs in this house more times in my life than I have yesterday and today. And I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have any morals, I would have already pushed my mother into oncoming traffic.

Also, I've had this great headache the past few days.

Basically, this week has ruled.

Tonight the first Four Square of 2007 will happen. I am stoked.

"La-La-La-La-Life is Wonderful."

Aldorn is gone and I am bored, so I suppose all is as it should be.

I have the sleepies.

FIRST POST OF 2007!

Happy New Year, everyone.

I hope that your 2007 is the greatest year of your lives. May you have health and happiness. So far I've had both...but it's hard to not be happy when I've slept most of the year.

My day today will consist of probably a Lord of the Rings movie marathon. Yippee!